At a certain point on the journey, especially in midlife, people commonly ask themselves this question – is this all there is?
Sometimes, this question comes up because our intuition is momentarily connecting us with the vastness of our own infinite potential. In that moment, we feel that we were meant to accomplish something of greater significance, perhaps something that would serve others in a more meaningful way. But, for various reasons, we now realize that we have actually tapped but a small portion of our own profound potentiality, and lost the boldness to re-connect with its largeness, to bring it into fuller expression.
In my experience through 10 years of coaching, that question – is this all there is? – has been indicative of a vague kind of malaise resulting from a gradual shift away from what once passionately called them; what made them feel most alive. Though the deeper reasons for the discontent can be complex, a commonality tends to prevail among people who experience it. Some find that the goals they pursued and achieved did not yield the happiness they hoped for. For others, painful past experiences have resulted in habits of mind that have enclosed them in limited perspectives and fear-based thought patterns which further reduce their life’s possibilities.
If we go about our life not realizing the imperative of pro-actively and courageously making intentional choices based on soul-dwelling core values, we are likely to end up drifting into undesirable circumstances and gradually settle there, while being, deep down, ill at ease.
But it’s never too late to take on a course correction, rekindle our passions, re-assess what matters most and align the course of our life by that True North, our soul-dwelling values. Here are 4 steps to start the process of re-vitalizing your life:
- Create introspective moments to help you explore and reflect on your life; write a list of your most significant events/decisions/changes over the past decade or two to help generate an overview of your trajectory and start an intimate conversation with your authentic self. As part of that inner conversation, begin by appreciating what you have, who you have become and what you have achieved.
- Ask yourself what were the real intentions behind those life events and choices; what values have you embraced and what values have you inadvertently neglected. Out of this, you can identify what are now the 5 or 6 most important values you can use to apply course correction to your life.
- With “baby steps” in mind, decide on new specific goals, positive habits and/or passionate aspirations that align with your current values; what matters most now.
- Ask a close friend to become your accountability partner, someone that can provide encouragement as you keep moving into a life that yields more joy, vitality and fulfillment.
If you would like some help to determine your core values, you may e-mail me to request an effective exercise I have designed for that purpose.
